So Young, So Old

Years go by, I watch them pass
And wonder silently when the parade will end
I'm old enough to know the time will come
But young enough to forget

Not an adult, not ready for responsibility
But with the weight of the world on my shoulders
A burden I take subconsciously, determinedly
Knowing I can't fulfill what my heart desires

There is so much I have learned
So much more yet to learn
About the nature of humanity
About who I am, who God wants me to be

Sometimes I feel my age weighing me down
Then feel the years ahead me, so scary - unknown
Too much to handle, the scars of the present
And the vast, unsure, painful, and happy future

Your Manual

So much information
No one knows
Only me, and I don't let it show

When I cry, I can't talk
Just hold me tight
Wait it out, and I'll be alright

I'm pessimistic
With a tendency to sink
Listen to my fears, and tell me what you think

I can't stand hidden truths
Nor outright lies
Give me truth every time, and mistrust within me dies

I'm worried I'm too much to handle
Cause I don't understand myself
Let me know you think I'm worth it, and I'll give you all of myself

I'm over and melodramatic
I make it more than it is
Bring my feet to the ground, and remind me this is what is

I've no self-discipline
I can be lazy as hell
But give me something I love, and I'll always do it well

I have a past that haunts me
Controls what I do
Help me break free, and there's no stopping you

There's so much more
I wish I could tell you
To help you along, and me not scare away you

But I think I want you to figure out
All these things on your own
For things discovered hold power, and you need power over your own