I Miss You Now

All the words I couldn't say
You always seemed to hear
You've listened to how many fears
And seen too many a tear

I took you for granted
Got caught in myself
For some reason you stayed
After all others left

You stood by and let me live
Although you had much to give
I didn't find until the end
That you were the true friend

What have I done?
Why did I do this?
It is my fault, and I own to it all
Although you caught me, I let you fall

I questioned you, I turned away
Despite the vow I gave
Because of that, I threw away
All there was to save

I pray that you read this
Maybe understand why
With all the words I wanted to say
Somehow the river ran dry

So it seems childish now
To reach out for you
But I'm at that point again
I've nothing left to do

No one else listens
No one knows me as well
No one else will understand
This pain, this cross - my hell

But here I am, again
Using you for what I can
Every time that I go down
You're my backup plan

When I cannot eat
And sleep too much
When I can't say
And I can't touch

The sad story is
There's no other how
Forgive me or not
I miss you now