Ghost Pains

Sometimes I feel
Like a part of me was severed
Something I am missing
From a time ago forever

It's a physical ache
And I don't know what to do with it
It doesn't feel right
Something needs to fit

I yearn for a touch
Nonsexual in nature
Comforting, completing
Love that makes me sure

Sure that I am here
You acknowledge my presence
Check my pulse
I don't want to be absent

Where?

Hating this roller coaster
Up, Down, back again
Without control, confused direction
Misunderstanding my own purpose

I am where I'm supposed to Be
Right?

Always questions, hardly answers
Getting sick of all these testers

Forgetting, remembering
Which is which?
Losing, gaining
Sometimes it all seems the same

Moment by moment
I try to think
This is a Blessing
But right now it feels a Curse

Use what you have, what you're given
But nothing is in my hands
And I'm not holding the wheel

Where now, God?
Peak or valley?
Cause I'm standing on the brink
And I can't see the end

So I stand, Lost
Drowning in Frustration
Lorded by Emotion
All I can do is pray that some day this will be better, I will be Better

But, oh, how far
And, oh, what pain
Will suffice before I reach the destination?

I have no right
To ask what You want of me
Father, I am standing here
While trying to move on

A Moment

Down the road
On a journey
Lost in the moment
Lethargic but so aware

In the dark
I see everything
Tingling senses
Time stands still

Remembering the past
Wondering about the future
Relishing the present
Hoping for it all

Those around me
Where will it go?
How far will we go
Together or apart?

Our lives are laid in front of us
All of it in reach
But it all closes down so quickly
We have to move fast

But all I want to do is slow down
Staying forever in this moment
Between freedom and commitment
Between now and then

However, I can't stay here
Time does go on
And as it does, I wonder
Who will get left behind?