Waiting

Then he's gone
Another one dropped from radar
A valid reason, not the season
No matter what I would like to believe

I get so tired
Of being disappointed
Of being passed over
Of being alone

The day I stop waiting
Will be the day he rides up on a white horse
So I wait for that day
The Catch-22 of waiting

I don't know what it means
When they fall through
Is it something with me
Or all to do with You?

I'm looking for a physical manifestation of the love You have for me
Is that not how it is to be?

He should sweep me off my feet
hold me like his life depends on it
look at me with fire in his eyes
understand all that I never say
push me to do better
know that sometimes I don't know why I cry
see all that is good and bad within me
love me despite my flaws and maybe sometimes because of them
talk to me like there's no one else in the room
lead me in walking with our God
be unafraid to tell me what I need to hear
remind me that there is more to this life than disappointment, heartache, regret, and hatred

I believe it's worth waiting for

Wordless Joy

This is why I'm here
This happiness, this joy
When it doesn't make sense
But it's okay with me

And it's funny how it changes
So quickly, so fast
I'm almost reeling
From the all-consuming blast

From despair to ecstasy
So deep, then so high
Words come easy for the first
But seem to slip away for the new

What is the reason for joy being so
So indescribable, so beyond words
Even though sadness elevates appreciation
Joy surprises and leaves me speechless

Shower Tears

Crying in the shower
Makes me feel
Like my tears are weightless
It lessens the pain of release

My strangled voice
Groaned and pleaded
Begging God for it to be a lie
Untrue revelation

When my world crashed
It fell on me in a thousand drops
Strangely soothing
But still heartbreaking

But you won't see it
This burden, this realized fear
I tried to let it go
Along with the dead, down the drain