College

Many smiles, many laughs

And a hundred tears cried for each

Lots of friends, lots of love

And two losses for every three gained

What is to be said

To all I'll leave behind

When I say goodbye

Who will be mourning by my side

Take the good with the bad

Don't worry, I will

But every good I see

Is overshadowed by bad possibilities

Fear has become ingrained 

You all have me trained

To see loss in what I gained

My heart is purely pained

Is it okay that I believe

Despite all your declarations

Disregarding your claims

These are the worst four years of my life

Continuing Fear

It won't stop

This subconscious awareness

Of what it could be

Of what they could say

Of what I could be seen as

I push you away

Because the memory is fresh

Will it always be?

I say it will

I am caught in a cage

With only one window

The only view -

The never-sleeping eye 

Of humanity

Walking away

Seems so easy now

I guess I've had plenty of practice

If I don't know where it started, how will it ever end?

Turn my back again

Knowing that you care

This intimacy you desire

Is something I won't dare