Let Me

What do you think?
I'm backing out
Can't take the pressure
No working hard for me

Like it's easy to just switch
I'm not thinking about every aspect
I just want an easier path
I just want to get done

Do you not realize?
Every day I worry
Am I doing the right thing?
What if I'm wrong?

Every minute I sit in torture
Wondering if I am being weak
By trying to get away
By doing something different

I was wrong before
What makes me think I'm not this time
Nothing
Nothing at all

There is every possibility
That I've screwed up again
But let me do it
Let me make this maybe mistake

Don't think I haven't thought
Don't think I haven't freaked out constantly
That I'm just jumping away and in
That I have no clue

Because maybe I don't
But I'm trying to figure it out
Please! Let me do this
If I am screwing up my life

Just let me

But I know you care
You just don't always show it
The way I want you to
The way I see it

You have to trust me
Because I don't trust myself
And someone needs to
If I'm going to survive

Your mind is set
But so is mine
Please listen
Let me speak my piece

Because maybe I'm right
This path I'm on is not for me
Another is my destiny
But it's something I can't see

I'm trusting in God
To pull me through whatever
So please trust in me
Let me do whatever

Back to the Beginning

When I don't know what to write
Shall I write what I don't know?
Or maybe that which bothers me most
Even the future seems possible

As to that of which I do not know
It is what rattles me deep
For I know nothing of the future
Therefore all connected are they

But what does it mean to know
Cause it all seems so shaky
When the future doesn't look all clear
And the path is never straight
Makes it hard to see ahead
Always looking around a curve

But thank God I have Someone steady
Someone pure and true
Someone who knows it all
And gives of what is needed

Someone who doesn't hesitate
To tell me when I'm wrong
Someone who wants to set me straight
When I tend to lose my way

Someone who won't walk away
And waits for me when I do
Thinking of everyone - they've all let me down
I thank You, Lord, that I have You

What Is At Stake

I don't understand
Where did the beginning go
And why does it always end so badly?

I was there once
Full trust is -
Open chest, cut here
Disappointment reigns

You want me to think the best
But I've been proven too many times wrong
I want to believe you
But you didn't give me the benefit of the doubt
So I doubt

Is it so hard
To stay close
No excuses
For jumping off bridges

Knowing more than I want
Knowing nothing at all
Which is worse?
Being clueless - Being wounded

This heart of protection
How much more can it take
I've lost so much hope
I don't know what's at stake