Exhaustion and Running Away

I have nothing left
To keep me going - to keep me sane
All that has a hold on me
Is easy to let go

I'm here but not - tired and fraught
My mind constantly elsewhere
So much apathy
Turned the tables

Who I've been hates who I am
And who I am doesn't want this
My eyes drift
Searching for what I'm missing

I have no faith in you
You've all let me down
I've no faith in myself
I've let you all down

Pressure - too much
Staying - too hard
Myself - too weak
To hold on for long

I am not a good friend
I finally admit
So when you leave me
Know that I expected it

About Reaching Out

Always this distance
Sometimes a bridge
I can't choose to cross
And I've got no help deciding

You walk right by
With the weight of your choice
As I sit here and wonder
If you feel it like I do

And it's always the same
Another person I can't touch
Another reason to back away
Fear - Disbelief - Past - Present

Isolated surrounded
Everyone feels it sometimes
Mine seems eternal
I am fully dedicated to it

Can't break out
Don't reach out
Another pain awaits
Stretching my heart again

Every scar, every tear
Comes with a lesson
And I don't care to try again
I've found that I don't have the strength to