What I Need

All I need is God
So I'm told, so I thought
Though very true
We desire something else

A human heart
With human flaws
One like me
Fallen, beautiful mess

I tried building walls
But only found
That once they were up
I truly needed them down

I tried to be an island
But discovered soon
That an island unto itself
Is very deeply doomed

Though God is what I need
And my reason I'm alive
After naming paired creatures
For companion Adam pined

So who am I to change my fate
To say that I can go alone
When Adam in perfection yet
Had God but longed for else?

Walls had to burn
The island desert
Alone, unfriended
I can not live

Every Song

They're everywhere I go
Hitting my ears with each new note
I long to sing a song
That doesn't remind me of you

Hitting far or hitting hard
Doesn't matter with my heart
All it hears are jagged cuts
Stabbing the same old wound

And I wonder when I won't
Hear a song and think of you
Sing a line and connect it to
The walking away of you

Time will move on
Maybe some day so will I
But I know the scar will stay
Eternal reminder of every song

Close to Escape

Wake up
Count down
Do it right
Little left

I can make it
Just a few more days
Till temporary freedom

Off to the horizon
Just on the edge
Close to jumping
Into what I can

I'm so close
I can taste it
I can feel it
Close to escape

You Would Think

After all this pain
And so many tears
You would think
I couldn't get through

Before I returned
To your side or near
You would think
I would have to be blind

Now I want you back
I miss you, dear
You would think
I shouldn't feel that way

My heart is blind
All it sees is you
You would think
I hate you but

I love you

Tolerated

There's this girl i know
Who's up and down
She's ADD and probably
Bi-polar to the ground

She talks of friends
Some lost, some found
Her lack of joy seems too coy
As truthful as they sound

i gave a nickname
i'm not proud about
And if she knew what I told you
She probably would shout

She's one of those people
You don't know if she's real
Is it true, what she's telling you
Or is it just a steal

People talk about her
Who knows who is her friend
With all the lies and secret eyes
Where does the truth begin

i don't want to be
Someone you tolerate
You wave and smile but all the while
You're on a different state

If that's me, please
Don't pity me at all
i know what's wrong: i don't belong
i, differently called

And this girl i know
Who is she really
Behind the tabs and shady jabs
Missing it, are we silly

We stand together
Tolerated, just bare
But if you fall away, i believe i can say
We'll probably be there

Stab Me

SCREAM
whisper
Tell me what I'm doing wrong

The truth hurts
But the icing rips my heart
in pieces

Advice and words
Words and lies
Lies and masks
Masks and me

To be the protector
Is to be strong
To be the protected
Is to be stronger
To want protection
Is to be strongest
But I am weak

Clear-cut cones
Set me my boundaries
Two-toned tongue
Give me praise and cries

Set me right
Or set me wrong
Either way you set me
Set me a song

Sing of my faults
Sing of my lies
Sing of my misuses
Of which my heart justly dies

Don't tell me that it's over
Don't tell me what I want to hear
Don't tell me what you think will staunch
This blood pool I am, so dear

Tell me who I am
Tell me when I'm wrong
Tell me what you know is right
Sing me my true song

Mixed

Surrounded again
Mixes my emotions
Happy - Sad
........anxious

Was this place destined?
Or self-imposed?
Sometimes one
Sometimes another

Mixed faces
Mixed reactions
Mixed longings
Same apprehension

I don't know what will happen
Can't decide for good or bad
All I can do is try my best
And give it all I have

I have nothing to give
But what God has given me
Even that confuses and frustrates
Because I'm human; because I'm me