Tolerated

There's this girl i know
Who's up and down
She's ADD and probably
Bi-polar to the ground

She talks of friends
Some lost, some found
Her lack of joy seems too coy
As truthful as they sound

i gave a nickname
i'm not proud about
And if she knew what I told you
She probably would shout

She's one of those people
You don't know if she's real
Is it true, what she's telling you
Or is it just a steal

People talk about her
Who knows who is her friend
With all the lies and secret eyes
Where does the truth begin

i don't want to be
Someone you tolerate
You wave and smile but all the while
You're on a different state

If that's me, please
Don't pity me at all
i know what's wrong: i don't belong
i, differently called

And this girl i know
Who is she really
Behind the tabs and shady jabs
Missing it, are we silly

We stand together
Tolerated, just bare
But if you fall away, i believe i can say
We'll probably be there

Stab Me

SCREAM
whisper
Tell me what I'm doing wrong

The truth hurts
But the icing rips my heart
in pieces

Advice and words
Words and lies
Lies and masks
Masks and me

To be the protector
Is to be strong
To be the protected
Is to be stronger
To want protection
Is to be strongest
But I am weak

Clear-cut cones
Set me my boundaries
Two-toned tongue
Give me praise and cries

Set me right
Or set me wrong
Either way you set me
Set me a song

Sing of my faults
Sing of my lies
Sing of my misuses
Of which my heart justly dies

Don't tell me that it's over
Don't tell me what I want to hear
Don't tell me what you think will staunch
This blood pool I am, so dear

Tell me who I am
Tell me when I'm wrong
Tell me what you know is right
Sing me my true song

Mixed

Surrounded again
Mixes my emotions
Happy - Sad
........anxious

Was this place destined?
Or self-imposed?
Sometimes one
Sometimes another

Mixed faces
Mixed reactions
Mixed longings
Same apprehension

I don't know what will happen
Can't decide for good or bad
All I can do is try my best
And give it all I have

I have nothing to give
But what God has given me
Even that confuses and frustrates
Because I'm human; because I'm me

New Year, New Me (Supposedly)

Starting a new year
But some things never change
Things torn apart - still torn apart

Maybe there will be healing
Maybe there will be forgiveness
Maybe there will be renewance
Maybe there will be friendship - again

There will be new people
There will be new problems
There will be new blessings
There will be new changes

Oh, where to start
But more: Where to finish
Where am I headed
Where am I to be

I need to change
I need to forgive
I need to bless
I need to wait

With all these things
And all these changes
What I need most
Is some God-guidance

What If Life Was Perfect

What if life was perfect
And all we'd ever see
Were smiling faces, pretty faces
Surrounding you and me

We would all be happy
All of us unhurt
Free from worry, in no hurry
No reason to be curt

WAKE UP
Stop dreaming and wishing
Wishing does nothing
And you can't pretend everything's great
Don't try to ignore
Don't even think about running away
It'll catch you
That, or something else

Everything's melting
explosion
What happened to easy?

You're afraid to rock my perfect little world -
Guess what
IT'S NOT PERFECT
You're not letting me down
I never thought you were perfect
Never expected it
I'm looking for your faith in me
Trust me - I'll be here

It came in my sleep
explosion
How was I to know?

What if life was perfect
And all we'd ever see
Were smiling faces, pretty faces
Looking straight at me

But this life isn't perfect
And right now all I see
Are hurting faces, pretty faces
Begging - Stay - to me

Where I Belong

Highway lines pass me by
Along with some old friends
Time goes on pulling strong
Bring me home again

You can mock my Southern roots
Tell me I say things wrong
Redneck maybe but you can't tell me
How to play my song

Leaving was hard but harder still
Would be not coming home
Where time may crawl and defy law
But I am not alone

Happiness

Quietly laid touches
Reach down to the bone
Forgive me my desires

Lightless love erased
Entrapped nor enclosed
Found then gone

Murder me with caresses
Poison me with a touch
Would I receive that death

I would enjoy it too much