Not the One I Would Have Picked

Load your guns, release your cry
Enter the fray and pray it's a lie
Stand your ground, clench your fists
Hope the enemy soon desists

I choose my battles carefully
Holding back until I can see
What I fight and where I stand
What weapons are in their hand

In this battle that I now fight
Against the force that threatens the light
Gathering support, seeing the divide
Weighs on my heart and suffers my pride

I loathe the battle, despise the war
Though I know what I fight for
My love, my life, my judgment call
These are the things for which I will fall

Tell Me I'm Losing My Mind

I'm fighting for the way I want it to be
Forgetting all those words you'd never hear
And when I fall to my knees in regret
Maybe I'll find that I was right all along

Tell me I'm losing my mind
When I imagine my mistakes in front of me
Tell me we'll get it all right
When we find that what we needed was all that we can see

I'm trying to find my way around this path
Searching for the signs I made for myself
And when I fall to my knees in despair
Maybe I'll find that I was right all along

Tell me I'm losing my mind
When I imagine the darkness inside of me
Tell me we'll get it all right
When we find that what we wanted was all that we need

I'm screaming for release from all that sees
Straining for freedom, hope, and peace
And when I fall to my knees in relief
Maybe I'll find that you were right all along

My Heart Tries to Speak

I wait for time to catch up with my heart
I wait for the time we'll never be apart
Seeing what we could be
Seeing in you what I think I need

Someone told me to guard my heart
Someone else broke it apart
You're putting it back together
You're gaining access untethered

All the time I waited
Seems so insignificant now
To all the time to come

These words are weak
To what I picture
Our life together

I hate this not expressing
My love for you
Words can't be strung together sufficiently

I want to hold you forever
You read my mind
I don't see how you could be this amazing
You make me feel wanted
I waited for so long and yet was still surprised when you showed up and I gave you my heart
I'm surprised every day by you
We know what we want, and we want each other
I thank God profusely for you
I want you

I love you

Turn Me Around

Stop me right here
Turn me around
Prick my ears to hear
My heartbeat, a sound

From where does it come?
And where does it go?
If I don't find it now
I fear I'll never know

Lay before me unhindered
My thoughts and my fears
Test me down, turn me around
If all I head for is tears

Take all that I wanted
And tell me it's true
That all that I wanted
Is ever only in you

Tell me I'm not the only one
Who worries and frets and dies
Daily thinking I've got it all wrong
That I'm the only one who cries

Myself, the one I can't trust
The one who has hurt me the most
I'm tired of being the only one
To bring the pain I boast

So turn me around
To face the truth
All my faith, all my trust
Was lost in my years of youth

Open Your Eyes

Why do you keep trying?
Trying to keep alive what you killed long ago?
All your plots failed
Yet you keep trying

You could have fled
Saved yourself and your sanity
Instead you stayed
And now stand against them all

Against the standards
Screaming for liberation
When you have the choice
To run free - but.you.stay

Do you see this?
Do you see the problem?
Do you see yourself?
Do you see where this all goes wrong?

I want more for you
I know you can be more
But you're focused on being that person
And I can't pull you out

This is yours to handle - and yours to let go

Fall With Me

As I fall deeper
I search for something to stop me
Stop this free fall
Hoping nothing appears

Apprehension - yes
Falling is meant to be scary
Meant to give you pause
That's why it is not to be taken lightly

I am not taking this lightly
I realize what is at stake
But I will give what is required
If only you fall with me

Awaiting Away

Can't drag my mind away
Daydreaming, nightwishing
I'd never be away from you

If I had a choice, if there weren't places to go
I don't think I would
Not enough time with you
Too much time away

I wait for your words
Calling me back
And your kiss on the head
Before you fade into the black

Sometimes I dread the future
Knowing we will be apart
Hating that fuzzy depth
Of being away from Home

I'm trying to trust
Wait it all out
See what God wants of us
Avoiding the doubt

Kiss me again, never let go
It may be presumptuous but I'm praying
You're all I'll ever know